I’ve recently recognized an unexpected dimension of self-love I long struggled with – enforcing boundaries to protect my energy.

In past few weeks I attended various workshops, events or gatherings, hoping to absorb inspiration. Instead, at many of them, I left utterly depleted, having gained little while feeling physically drained.

This pattern brought an important awareness – as an entrepreneur birthing various passionate and blissful projects, I cannot afford activities that sap my drive and thriving inner spark.

Decades of Pouring from an Empty Pitcher

I traced this challenge back through my life’s journey, realizing I had endured decades of pouring from an empty pitcher because I believed selflessness was noble. Most intensely while caretaking for my mother during her harrowing Alzheimer’s descent.

The daily disturbance of stabilizing someone locked in torment while simultaneously working full-time in corporate management frayed my last nerves. No matter the turmoil her cries unleashed within me, I persisted in comforting her first above all else.

My Blueprint said caring for others eclipsed self-preservation.

Until after years of intermittent illness and adrenal fatigue, I finally registered the oxygen mask metaphor. I could not help anyone if asphyxiating myself slowly through self-neglect.

So I began the excruciating dismantling of martyr conditioning – daring to leave my mom earlier despite cries of perceived abandonment. Preserving Sundays for me-time rather than our default togetherness for the full weekend. Each act of self-honoring allowing me to show up as my best self rather than a depleted ghost.

With practice, I created space to both hold my own fragile heart and nurture my mother’s without fully sacrificing myself.

But it took eons to realize I was worthy too – not selfish, but self-loving through upholding boundaries.

Protecting Our Soul Fire

Now when I sense my soul-fire waning, I take swift action, as in these energy-depleting gatherings I experienced recently …

Setting very high expectations towards myself in everything I do, I also enter each event with those high expectations – to learn, expand my thinking, gain value.

So when hosts totally lack meaningful preparation and direction during the gathering, I honestly feel used.

When I came anticipating guidance and insights to grow, however gained nothing while even losing my productivity afterwards, I feel depleted.

Valuing Our Energy & Time

Our time is precious, for all of us.

But how often do we override messages from Self urging us to slow down and recharge, rather than deplete through activities failing to resonate?

Yet we owe it to ourselves to place our inner wisdom first.

To stand firmly when someone claims our precious time and priceless energy without deserving our gifts.

We owe it to choose how we wish to feel – uplifted through substance and soul connection rather than mediocrity.

We know in our heart’s core when an experience fails to contribute value reciprocal to what we offer.

And though discernment strengthens in time regarding where we shine, we must begin asserting boundaries now.

That shows self-love in action – advocating for our energy and time not being carelessly squandered. And fueling ourselves through mindful engagement only.

I cannot sparkle with bliss outwardly if I allow others’ lack of care to dim my inner energy steadily. I cannot guide others to freedom while denied myself.

The choice is clear though not always easy.

Yet each courageous “no” carves wider bandwidth for the yes closest to my soul.

Start small yet determined in courageously claiming space for your soul to guide the way.

Our time here is precious.

Let’s use it wisely, soulfully and for our own growth.

Steps to Take Back Your Power

Join me in taking back your power one self-honoring choice at a time.

Audit Energy Drains

What activities, environments or obligations consistently fatigue your fiery spirit?

Start vigilantly noticing when and why happiness fades.

Only by becoming aware of energy vampires can you start to unhook their power and defend your high-vibe reserves.

Identify Anchoring Activities

Make a list of people, passions and practices that never fail to rejuvenate your soul – no matter how weary you felt initially.

These are your go-to’s.

They may include beloved friends, expressive arts, communion with nature or a cherished instrument awaiting your touch.

Prioritize immersing here frequently.

Learn To Say “No”

Start gently establishing personal boundaries likely long ignored.

Saying no gets easier in time as you honor authentic needs.

It just takes one bold moment of holding your highest self sacrosanct before this muscle memory embeds.

You’ve got this!

Small steps matter.

Limit Energy-Sucking Media

Minimize technology streams or conversations chronically directing attention outward.

Sustaining your inner clarity requires vigilant choice on where you place focus – and depth over distraction serves visionaries.

Explore Conversation Pivoting

There’s an art to verbally guiding unwelcome interactions back to terrain that nourishes you.

Master subtle language cues conveying “I appreciate this exchange and need to excuse myself now.”

Preserve your sanity and selfhood!

With Love and Bliss,

Milady A